


Red String

by TheFairieQueen



Series: DGM Big Bang 2018 [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Fate, Foster Care, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Red String of Fate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-06 01:01:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15875271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFairieQueen/pseuds/TheFairieQueen
Summary: There’s an old story that some people are tied together by an invisible red string, and that it will inevitably bring them back together.  But Kanda doesn’t believe in fate - not until he crosses paths with someone he thought he would never see again.  (Foster Care/Modern AU)





	1. Meeting

* * *

_Nine Years Ago_

* * *

  
  
  
It was bright, sunny day. The sky was clear and blue – a vibrant cerulean that was just _glaringly_ pigmented.  
  
Kanda didn’t like it. There were no clouds in the sky to break up the overly saturated color, which stretched on tirelessly. The sun was _blazing_ , too; Kanda could feel the heat of it pouring in through the car window, and the glass was hot to the touch.  
  
A few times, Kanda had tried to lean against it. He had regretted it each time as soon as the scalding glass grazed his cheek, burning the skin lightly.  
  
The nine-year-old continued to stare out the window, as a bored expression remained on his face. Kanda leaned back into the seat of car as he wondered just how long the drive would last.   So far, it had been almost an hour, and Kanda was starting to feel twitchy from having to be seated for so long.  
  
Kanda shifted his position, somewhat agitated.  His leg had fallen asleep, and the constant motion of the car was beginning to make him feel nauseous. He leaned against the car door, wishing he could fall asleep – or at least do _something_ to pass the time.    
  
Up in the driver’s seat, there was a man. He had golden, wavy hair and a mustache that connected to his side burns. Kanda didn’t remember the man’s first name, but it was “something” Galmar.  
  
Not that it mattered – it wasn’t as though Kanda would be with “something” Galmar much longer anyways.  
  
Glancing in the rearview mirror, Galmar noticed Kanda’s displeased expression. “We’re almost there, Yuu. I know you’re probably getting tired of the drive.”  
  
Kanda didn’t respond, but his face retained a sour look at being called by his first name. But Galmar was right about one thing: Kanda _was_ getting tired of the drive. He was getting tired of a lot of things.  
  
“You’ll like this place. Mother Superior is a nice woman,” Galmar continued. He sounded as though he was attempting to be amiable, but Kanda didn’t find him to be succeeding. The man just sounded awkward, and annoying.  
  
Kanda felt his face scrunch up. For the last few months that was all he had been hearing about adults. _This_ person was nice. _That_ person was nice. Kanda didn’t care – he didn’t like _any_ of them. Besides, it wasn’t even like the adults were even _that_ nice either. They just acted that way because they had to.  
  
A smile here. A pat on the head there. It was always the same demeaning routine, with the same end result: Kanda would be with them a short while, then go somewhere else to start all over again.  
  
Kanda just really hated this whole foster care thing. He hated it a lot.  
  
Galmar didn’t try to make any more small talk for the rest of the drive. If anything, the man seemed relieved for the child’s radio silent responses.  
  
They drove for probably 20 more minutes or so after that. By then, Kanda could feel himself finally beginning to drift off despite the discomfort of his position. His eyelids were growing heavy from the warmth of the sun and the steady movement of the car, and his consciousness seemed to be fading.  
  
Despite the hotness of the glass, Kanda pressed his forehead against it while using his bangs as a barrier to deflect some of the heat.  
  
There was a slight bump in the car’s movement, and Kanda opened his eyes. Glancing out the window, he saw that they were pulling to a stop in front of a large, brick building.  
  
Kanda found already feel the distaste spilling into his mouth. He didn’t want to go in already.  
  
“Alright, we’re here,” Galmar announced, as he put the car into park.  
  
Kanda heard Galmar turn the car off, and the jingle of the keys as they were pulled out of the ignition. Kanda didn’t rush to move though, and it was only when he heard Galmar undo his seatbelt and step out of the car that Kanda even bothered to grab his backpack and get out.  
  
Once outside, Kanda got a better look at the building. It wasn’t anything special to look at, and it was easily forgettable. It looked _old_ too, and Kanda wondered if it would be just as unpleasant inside as it appeared on the outside.  
  
As his eyes scanned the building, Yuu stopped at a window up on the second floor. Before he could blink there was a flash of movement – however, when Kanda looked again, he saw no one.  
  
Galmar noticed Kanda staring, and spoke. “Come on, Yuu. We should get inside so you can get settled in.”  
  
Kanda’s nose crinkled. “It’s Kanda,” He murmured under his breath. Kanda wasn’t sure why he even tried anymore; Galmar didn’t seem to care that Kanda didn’t want to be called by his first name.  
  
Galmar had already knocked on the front door by the time Kanda caught up. The manturned, and spying Kanda’s messy bangs quickly tried to brush them out of his face. He sighed. “You really need to cut that hair of yours.”  
  
Kanda immediately tried to swat Galmar’s hand away. His hair was _fine_.  
  
The door opened, revealing a woman. She was wearing a monastic dress with a head covering, and she looked as though she were somewhere in her fifties.  
  
Recognition appeared on her face when she saw Galmar. “Oh, Officer Galmar – I’m glad to see you made it here alright,” She greeted, before her eyes moved over to Kanda. They were warm, and friendly. “And you must be Yuu. I’m Mother Superior.”  
  
Kanda didn’t respond, and averted his gaze. “My name’s Kanda,” He grumbled.  
  
Galmar spoke up. “Uh, sorry – sometimes he prefers to go by his last name,” Galmar spoke. “Not that there’s anything _wrong_ with the name Yuu-“  
  
Kanda looked away sharply, put off by Galmar’s comment.  
  
Mother Superior nodded in understanding. “That’s alright,” She spoke, her expression still welcoming as she looked between Kanda and Galmar. “Come inside and I can show you where everything is. I know the other children are probably looking forward to meet you.”  
  
Kanda scoffed under his breath, doubtful. Galmar shot him a warning look, and nudged him to go in after Mother Superior.  
  
Once inside, Mother Superior began speaking. “I can show you around briefly, then take you to where your room is. I’m sure you’ll want to get situated.”  
  
Again, Kanda didn’t say anything, but glanced around the main entry hall. It wasn’t exactly _terrible_ , but it was older looking on the inside just as it had appeared on the outside. There was also a distinctive, musty smell that Kanda couldn’t quite put his finger on what it might be, but it reminded him of something. Maybe school? He didn’t really like it, whatever it was.  
  
Galmar stepped in. “Maybe we could let him get settled first? I’d like to go over some things with you if that’s alright.”  
  
Kanda looked over at Galma, gaze wary. Of course Galmar would have to “go over things” before leaving Kanda in a new group home, but Kanda also knew that some of those things doubtlessly pertained to his past experiences in other homes.  
  
Frustrating behavior. Continuously mouthing back. There was a reason Kanda had changed homes so frequently in the past year.  
  
Mother Superior nodded. “Of course! Kanda, follow me, dear, and I’ll show you where your room is.”  
  
Clutching the string of his backpack, Kanda followed. They walked down the hall before heading up the staircase, and then down another hall that appeared more residential.  
  
“This is where all the rooms are,” Mother Superior explained, as though she had magically read Kanda’s thoughts. “We have two children in each room, so hopefully you’re fine with sharing – I know Alma is looking forward to sharing a room with someone.”  
  
Immediately, Kanda felt a wave of resistance. He wasn’t looking forward to sharing a room with some other random kid, but didn’t say so aloud. Instead, he took a second to glance at some of the rooms; a few were opened, and he could see messy beds, and in a few instances some other kids. Kanda was greeted by a few curious stares as well.  
  
They finally stopped at one room, which had the door ajar. Mother Superior knocked twice before opening the door. “Alma?” She called, looking inside.  
  
Kanda had been right behind her, and was able to peep in. From what he could see, the room was pretty plain: there was a bed on each side of the room, with some simple furniture, and two desk areas.  
  
Half of the room was _really_ messy though.  
  
Kanda could feel his aggravation increasing already.  
  
Mother Superior sighed. “Alma, I told you that you needed to _clean_ your side of the room before your new roommate got here,” She admonished.  
  
Kanda glanced over toward the messier side of the room, and finally took note of the other boy, Alma. He looked to be about Kanda’s age, but he had shorter hair that seemed to stick up in all sorts of angles, with wide blue eyes and a noticeable scar that crossed the bridge of his nose.  
  
A guilty look was on Alma’s face, and he looked down. “Sorry,” He apologized.  
  
Mother Superior’s expression softened a little. “Just make sure you clean up later,” She reiterated, before smiling, and gently nudging Kanda to come closer. “This is Kanda – he’ll be your roommate, so why don’t you show him around a bit?”  
  
Alma’s face lit up instantly – a complete turnaround from the downtrodden look he had just been wearing. “Okay!” He piped up excitedly.  
  
Kanda shrugged off Mother Superior’s touch as a small scowl remained on his face. Did he _really_ have to go through this?  
  
“Officer Galmar and I will be downstairs talking a bit – so you two behave.”  
  
The adults stepped out after that, and Kanda was left alone with Alma.  
  
Immediately, Alma turned all his focus onto Kanda. “Do you want me to show you where everything is?” He asked, his voice excitable.   “I mean, it’s really easy, but once I show you all the rooms I can show you outside! That’s where I like to go most of the time, and there are some bikes we can use-“  
  
As Alma rambled, Kanda could already feel his patience evaporate. Without even responding, he walked over to his bed and tossed his bag toward the foot of it. He then proceeded to fall onto the bed, with his back facing Alma as he rested on his side.  
  
Alma stopped mid-ramble, and looked at Kanda questioningly. “Why are you laying down? Don’t you want me to show you around?”  
  
“No.”  
  
The answer was clipped, and Alma’s face fell. “Why not?” He asked, disappointment evident.  
  
Kanda tried to close his eyes, but a frown was still on his face. Why couldn’t this other kid take a hint already? “Because I’m _tired_. Idiot.”  
  
The insult didn’t sit well with Alma. “I’m not an idiot!” He argued. “A-And if you were tired all you had to do was say so!”  
  
Kanda huffed, but kept his mouth shut. Maybe if he was lucky, Alma would just give up and move on-  
  
“Hey, don’t just ignore me!”  
  
…Or not.  
  
Despite his efforts to _not_ completely go off, Kanda was quickly becoming incensed. He turned, and glared at Alma with a force that was exceptionally _lethal_ for a child.  
  
The glare caused Alma to falter a little, likely because it scared him – which admittedly was a bit satisfying to Kanda. Maybe now Alma would finally back off.  
  
Kanda turned back over. “What a wimp…” He muttered.  
  
As soon as Kanda quieted, something soft promptly hit him in the back of the head.  
  
Kanda shot up, turning to that he could face Alma. He could see what had been thrown at him: an old stuffed rabbit that had landed on his bed.  
  
Kanda looked over, and saw that now _Alma_ was glaring. “I’m not a wimp!” Alma argued heatedly.  
  
“Yeah?” Kanda retorted, before chucking the stuffed animal back at Alma – specifically, toward his face. “Well, you’re still an idiot!”  
  
“At least I’m not a jerk like you!”

“What’d you call me!?”  
  
“I called you a _J-E-R-K_ -“  
  
Alma was cut off, as Kanda had suddenly gotten off the bed, shoving Alma forcefully. Alma immediately retaliated by pushing back, and soon the boys were tangled up in a physical altercation of pushing and hitting each other (and then finally a cheap move of Alma yanking Kanda’s hair).  
  
Because the door had been left open, the noise of the scuffle carried into the hall. Within seconds, Mother Superior returned; when she did, she found both Kanda and Alma on the ground _wrestling_ like a couple of wild animals. Her eyes widened briefly before she snapped into action, and her expression became serious.  
  
“Boys!” She shouted, as she ran in to break up the fight. “Boys, both of you stop this at once!”  
  
Quickly, Mother Superior yanked away Alma, who was currently on top of Kanda. Officer Galmar, who had come in just after Mother Superior, took hold of Kanda, pulling him back. “ _Yuu_!” The man scolded.  
  
Once Kanda and Alma were separated, Mother Superior looked in-between them. A stern frown was on her face. “Now I don’t know _how_ this started,” She began, “But this behavior is _not_ tolerated here.”  
  
Kanda wanted to roll his eyes. Great. He hadn’t even been in this place for a full half hour and he was already getting in trouble.  
  
Mother Superior looked at Alma. “Alma, I’m disappointed – you should know better.”  
  
Alma looked up at Mother Superior.   “But Kanda started it!”  
  
Kanda whipped his head in Alma’s direction, silently cursing at the other boy.  
  
“Regardless of who started it, that doesn’t justify fighting,” Mother Superior lectured. She then turned to Kanda.  “We act _civil_ here. Which means talking out problems and not fighting.”  
  
Kanda looked away, expression bitter. As if he could be civil with a freak like _Alma_.  
  
Mother Superior looked between both boys, as if figuring out what to do next. “Both of you can be on dish duty tonight and help with that to make up for your actions. Then you both can spend your free time after here where you’ll _hopefully_ learn to cooperate.”  
  
Alma’s face fell, and Kanda glared at the floor.  
  
This place was going to suck.

* * *

  
_**Present Day** _

* * *

  
  
Kanda couldn’t cancel. He told himself he wouldn’t.  
  
Well, Kanda told _Lenalee_ he wouldn’t cancel. She would kill him if he did.  
  
Kanda looked rolled over, and looked at the time on his phone. 7:19AM. It was still early enough that he didn’t have to get out of bed if he didn’t feel up to it, but Kanda knew he was beyond the point of being able to fall back asleep.  
  
The screen on Kanda’s phone flashed, and he saw there was a text from Lena – the one that had woken him up in the first place. _Hey! Don’t forget we’re meeting up at noon! ^o^_  
  
Then, another text. _Also don’t you dare cancel like last time. I haven’t seen you in forever and summer break is almost over! T_T_  
  
Kanda wanted to roll his eyes, and turned the phone over. Yeah. Meet at noon with Lenalee, Lavi, and Allen (a.k.a. the _beansprout_ ). Socialize. Fuck, Kanda _hated_ socializing.    
  
Well, socializing with just Lenalee wasn’t terrible. Kanda had known her for the longest out of his “friends” (not that he really had too many other people in his life who qualified as such). She was at least sweet and well-meaning.  
  
Truthfully, Kanda _did_ feel somewhat guilty for not having spent any time with Lenalee lately; he had cancelled the last two attempts, primarily due to work. Since it was summer break, Kanda had been trying to pick up more hours at work since he’d be starting school in a few weeks – and given that academics weren’t Kanda’s strongest point, he’d probably need more time off from work to focus on any studies.  
  
Although the phone was turned over, Kanda could see it illuminate a bit, indicating another text message. He exhaled heavily. What was Lenalee even _doing_ this early?  
  
Kanda flipped the phone over and read it. When he looked, he saw it was actually from his boss at work. _Hey, Kanda. One of our volunteers cancelled coming in later today and it’s adoption day – would you be able to come in by 2?_  
  
Kanda sighed. He had volunteered throughout all of high school at local animal shelter, and by mid-senior year he had finally been able to get a part-time staff position. It was a good job, and Kanda liked it primarily for getting to be around all the dogs. The one frustrating aspect was probably that the volunteers were usually flaky though.  
  
Frowning, Kanda thought. He supposed he could make it in, and he’d still be able to hang out with everyone for a decent time.  
  
Kanda texted back. _Yeah, I’ll come in._  
  
After he sent it, Kanda made himself get up. He was too awake now, and wasn’t usually the type to sleep in anyways.  
  
While getting up, Kanda noticed that he couldn’t hear anyone else in the house. Tiedoll, who had ended up adopting Kanda after fostering him for a few years, was an art teacher. He primarily taught at the public school system Kanda had ended up in, but during the school break he also taught summer classes.  
  
Kanda didn’t mind this; he liked the quiet mornings. Tiedoll meant well, but the man sometimes rambled, and he was always about all that sappy bonding crap that Kanda was just _not_ into. Maybe it was because Tiedoll was super artsy or something – Kanda didn’t know. Kanda had never been artistic, but it seemed to be a shared trait whenever he met anyone into art.  
  
Heading over to the closet, Kanda went to pull some clothes out. He noticed a few things had fallen on the floor – probably because Kanda usually half-assed hanging things up. Picking them up, Kanda paused when he noticed some boxes pushed toward the back of the closet.  
  
_‘Huh…’_ He thought. Kanda had forgotten those were there.  
  
Kanda was about to shut the closet, but changed his mind last minute. He had a while before he had to do anything, and really he didn’t _need_ those boxes there. Kanda figured he could move them down to the basement or something to free up more space.  
  
Pulling them out, Kanda quickly glanced through them. The first was just a bunch of papers and things dealing with past schoolwork or projects. Kanda wanted to roll his eyes – that was right. This was all the shit Tiedoll had always tried to encourage Kanda to hang onto. _“You might want to look back at some of what you’ve done later on!”_ Tiedoll would always say, as though the items would carry some level of sentiment.  
  
Kanda kicked the box aside. He would have preferred to just toss it, but at the very least it was _definitely_ going into the basement.  
  
Kanda turned to the other box. It was a little bigger, and the cardboard was pretty flimsy. When he opened it he instantly got a whiff of that musty smell that somehow seemed nostalgic. He wasn’t sure why.  
  
A small frown was on Kanda’s face as he went through. There was an array of things: an old portable CD player that was probably broken, some notebooks with missing sheets, an old stuffed rabbit…  
  
Kanda scowled, and picked up the stuffed rabbit. He still _had_ that ratty thing?  
  
“Tch,” Kanda scoffed quietly, as he threw the old toy back into the box.  
  
Kanda was about to close the box when he spotted a flash of red. It was buried beneath a few items, but Kanda fished it out and saw that it was a red beaded bracelet with a red string.  
  
Kanda stared at it. He…definitely remembered it. He’d been given it when he was nine.  
  
Keeping the bracelet out, Kanda shut the boxes. Despite his earlier resolve, he pushed them back into the closet, and opted not to move them to the basement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, welcome! This is the first of two fics I’ve written for the DGM Big Bang Even 2018, of which I was paired with the phenomenally talented Superbadlydrawnallenwalker (CHECK OUT THEIR ART- THEY DID FANTASTICCCCCC)! As you’ll see, this is a multi-chapter fic (not too long – about seven chapters total). Each chapter is fairly short too, as the fic just hits a little over 15K.
> 
> I’m doing a slight experiment with this fic, and that will be alternating timelines. It’s not something I’ve really tampered with before, primarily because it can get so messy – but I’m giving it my best shot here. The two timelines will consist of present day (when Kanda is eighteen) and the past (when Kanda was nine). I have tried my best to pair the present scenes and flashbacks in a sensible way, but ahhhh, I never know if my thinking is sensible or not. XD
> 
> Since I’m getting these chapters up all at once, I won’t have notes at the end of each chapter like normal (eventually I’ll go back and add). But I do want to want to forewarn readers: there is no explicit descriptions or abuse or neglect, but it does come up in this AU.


	2. Glimpse

* * *

**_Nine Years Ago_**  


* * *

  
  
Kanda hated this.  He hated everything about this.  
  
It wasn’t too late in the evening, but after dinner (and  _dish duty_  – which, in reality had only been helping with dishes for a short period of time), Kanda and Alma had gotten sent back to their room for the evening.     
  
Kanda huffed, as he lied on the bed. He rolled onto his side so that he was facing the wall.  Getting sent to his room wouldn’t have actually been too bad – it would have given him time to be alone.  But  _Alma_  was there, on his side of the room doing who knew what.    
  
Kanda didn’t know, and didn’t care to know.  He would rather have pretended Alma didn’t exist.  This place was already annoying enough, and having a whiney roommate was going to make things worse.  
  
There was the sound of rustling on the other side of the room, but Kanda tried to ignore it.  He was sure if was Alma doing something, but he reminded himself that he wasn’t supposed to acknowledge Alma’s existence.  
  
Still, there was more rustling.  Then paper tearing.  
  
The noise made Kanda flinch.  It was just  _grating_  – what was Alma even doing?  
  
Sharply, Kanda turned to look over at Alma.  “Can’t you be quiet?  You’re  _loud._ ”  
  
Alma, who had been sitting on his bed, looked over at Kanda. His face was scrunched up into an annoyed pout, and his bed was littered with pieces of lined paper – some crumpled into balls, and some folded into strange shapes.  “I’m not  _that_  loud…”  
  
“Yeah, you _are_.”  
  
Alma paused, his brows furrowed. “No, _I’m_ not – the paper is,” He pointed out, as though it were the most logical explanation in the world.   
  
Kanda snorted. “So stop using paper already.”  
  
“But I _can’t_ – if I don’t use paper I can’t finish this!”  
  
Kanda blinked, staring over at Alma’s bed. “Finish _what_?” He asked, patience worn. “You just have a bunch of crumpled paper on your bed…”  
  
“No, it’s origami!” Alma spoke up, as he showed one of the paper forms he had made. “See? This one is a crane!”  
  
As Alma held up the piece of paper, Kanda could see that it actually _did_ resemble some kind of bird. He couldn’t remember what a “crane” looked like specifically, so Kanda couldn’t judge how accurate Alma’s depiction of it was, but it was surprisingly decent.   
  
Still, Kanda maintained an unimpressed look. “Is that all you can make?”  
  
Alma hesitated, not having expected Kanda to ask any questions. He looked at the paper crane, somewhat uncertainly. “Well…yeah. I just started learning a few days ago,” He explained. Alma then looked over at Kanda and smiled and enthusiastically. “But I’m learning how to make lotus flowers now! They didn’t seem as difficult as the other shapes…”  
  
Kanda’s attention flickered to the various clumps of paper on Alma’s bed. None of them looked very flower-like.   
  
Kanda rolled back over. “Flowers are lame. A dog would be better.”  
  
Blinking, Alma stared at Kanda. He picked up a book that he had off to the side and started to glance through it. “I don’t know if this book goes over how to make dogs…” He murmured, flipping through pages.   
  
Pausing, Alma looked back over at Kanda. “Are dogs your favorite animals?” He asked. “It’s hard for me to pick a favorite, but I like dogs too!”  
  
Kanda didn’t respond, his back still facing Alma.   
  
“Do you have a favorite kind of dog?”  
  
Still no response.  
  
There was a small huff from Alma, and he stopped talking after that, returning to his origami practice.   
  
The crinkling of paper continued, but Kanda bit his tongue. As annoying as the noise was, he could at least tune it out a bit more easily than Alma’s incessant chattering. Additionally, Kanda didn’t want to risk getting into another fight if he _did_ attempt to get Alma to be quieter – he knew he had made a lousy first impression already, and just because Mother Superior seemed like a patient woman didn’t guarantee she would keep Kanda around for much longer.   
  
Inside, Kanda felt something stir. He wondered how long it would be before he got moved again. _‘Stupid homes…’_  
  
Kanda wasn’t certain how much time had passed, but eventually he was beginning to feel tired. He still hadn’t changed out of his clothes, but didn’t care to; he was already lying down, and had no motivation to get up. Plus, Alma had finally stopped trying to make a conversation with him – perhaps this other kid would leave Kanda alone after all.  
  
The sound of paper being folded stopped. By this point, Kanda had started to doze off, and almost forgotten about any noise Alma was making. However, he then heard the sound of Alma getting off of his bed and walking – specifically, toward Kanda’s bed.  
  
Kanda did his best not to move, not certain as to _what_ Alma had in mind.  
  
But, Alma said nothing. There was only a small rustle, and something was left on the mattress behind Kanda.  
  
Kanda felt his curiosity pique, but he didn’t turn around right away. He could hear Alma scurry back to his side of the room, and get back onto his bed.   
  
After a moment, Kanda turned slightly. Alma was lying on his side, back facing Kanda.  
  
Kanda then looked over at the spot where Alma had left something, frowning a little at first. He blinked, a little confused when he saw that it was a paper lotus.   
  
“The dog was too hard – I kept messing it up.”  
  
A bewildered look flickered across Kanda’s face as he looked up. Alma was still turned over. Had he heard Kanda move?  
  
“Lotuses aren’t really lame though…they grow through the dirt and mud, and that doesn’t stop them from reaching the sun.”  
  
Kanda didn’t say anything. He didn’t know anything about lotuses, or flowers, or whatever it was Alma was talking about.   If lotuses were strong enough to grow through the mud, then perhaps they weren’t _quite_ as stupid as he had initially taken them to be.  
  
The room was quiet, and Kanda realized he had been half-expecting Alma to keep talking. But, Kanda could only hear the soft breathing of the other boy, and was left to assume he had fallen asleep.  
  
Kanda stared at the flower. The paper was flimsy, and it would likely get ruined.  
  
Glancing around, Kanda saw the nightstand by his bed. He placed the paper lotus there so nothing would happen to it.  


* * *

  
__**Present Day**   
  


* * *

  
  
The smell of coffee beans and vanilla filled the air, as did chattering of people. It was a constant buzz that eventually was reduced to white noise. Kanda did his best to filter it out; instead, he was trying to make a half-decent attempt to listen to the conversation at the table he was sitting at. It wasn’t particularly enthralling, though – just Lenalee excitedly talking about starting at the university located downtown in a few weeks. Across the table, their friends Lavi and Allen were equally enthused.   
  
Kanda was probably the only one who didn’t care much. He was just going to the local community college since he still wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to do with his life. He still had no idea how some people could already be so certain.  
  
“Ugh. I wish _I_ were graduating,” Allen moaned, the only one who wouldn’t be starting at college anywhere. He looked over at Lenalee, gray eyes regretful. “I should have done what you did and tried to graduate a year early.”  
  
Lenalee smiled sympathetically. “You just have one more year – it’ll go by quickly.”  
  
“It better. Cross is going to send me into an early grave.”  
  
Lavi put an arm around Allen, and pulled him close playfully. “Don’t want that happening – we should get a place together,” He suggested amiably, before turning to Kanda. There was a wide grin on the redhead’s face. “Kanda, you should move in with us! It’ll be like a sitcom.”  
  
Kanda snorted. “No,” He clipped, easily preferring death over _that_ kind of arrangement.  
  
“Gee. Spare my feelings, why don’t ya?”  
  
Lenalee clasped her latte, and pouted teasingly. “You’re not going to offer to let _me_ move in?”  
  
Lavi smiled sheepishly. “I would, buuuuut I don’t think your brother would be okay with that.”  
  
Allen also offered a weak smile. “Ah, Lavi does have a point there…Komui can be kind of scary.”  
  
Leaning back a little, Lenalee crossed her arms. “He’s not _that_ scary – and anyways, he knows you guys by now.”  
  
Kanda didn’t bother to comment, and opted to let the others come to a conclusion over how (murderously) over-protective Lenalee’s older brother actually was. Instead, Kanda just sort of played with the tea bag in his drink. He was never too fond of coffee, and didn’t know how Lavi or Lenalee could drink it all the time.  
  
Lenalee noticed this, but her eyes focused on Kanda’s wrist. “Where’d you get the bracelet?” She chimed curiously.  
  
Kanda paused, his own eyes briefly flickering the red-beaded bracelet before he focused back on his tea bag. He shrugged. “I’ve had it for a while.”  
  
Before Lenalee could press with anymore questions, Kanda pulled out his phone to glance at the time. It was a quarter after one, which meant that in a little bit Kanda would need to head out to make it to work on time. He slipped the phone back into his pocket. “I have to go soon.”  
  
Allen raised an eyebrow. “You have to go already?”  
  
“I have to go into work at two.”  
  
“Well, at least we got to see you a bit and can now say you’re _alive_ ,” Lavi pointed out, half-jokingly.   
  
Kanda rolled his eyes, and stood. He didn’t need a reminder of how much he had blown off socializing for the summer already.  
  
Lenalee looked at Kanda as he grabbed his things. “Kanda, we really should try together again before the summer ends, or I’ll never see you!”  
  
“Yeah, we should actually do something cool too – like go to the lake or something one night. We could have have a bonfire,” Lavi suggested.  
  
Kanda shrugged, not really caring. “I don’t know.”  
  
“I’ll text you if we decide on anything,” Lenalee said.  
  
Kanda just nodded, more so to appease them so they would let him head out already.   
  
Once Kanda left the café they had been at, he started on his way back home. He needed to just grab a few things before work, but it wouldn’t take long; everything was within a close commute to where he lived.  
  
As he walked down the street, he noticed more people outside. It was no doubt due to the perfect summer weather – warm and with clear skies overhead. Plus, anyone on any kind of summer break seemed to be doing their very best to enjoy the last of it before it disappeared.   
  
_‘Summer…’_ Kanda thought, his mind unexpectedly flashing back to a time where he had once really enjoyed summer. Briefly, he recalled laughter, scraped knees, and days outside under a cloudless sky.   
  
It felt as though those memories belonged in another life. Somewhere far away, and out of reach.  
  
Someone bumped into Kanda, breaking him of his unanticipated daze. He heard someone rush a quick, “Sorry,” and Kanda froze, for a second thinking he saw a flash of red on the person’s wrist.  
  
Kanda turned, but the person had already walked off, disappearing into the crowd.  
  
Frowning, Kanda continued back on his path. It had probably been nothing.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a child, Alma probably had a lot of interesting hobbies. It makes me think of how he was in canon: constantly interested in all sorts of random things. Origami just seemed to suit him here (I don’t know – I’ve always headcanoned Alma to be a bit more the creative type; he probably enjoys tangible activities too).
> 
> As for the present moment, I just wanted to incorporate a scene with Kanda interacting with other people, since I think that can show a lot about someone’s demeanor and character. Plus, it was nice to include Lenalee, Lavi, and Allen. <3


	3. Friend

* * *

__**Nine Years Ago**   
  


* * *

  
  
“Ugh, it still hurts…”  
  
Kanda looked at Alma with a deadpan stare. “It’s not that bad. Quit whining like you’re going to die or something.”  
  
Alma huffed. He was currently lying in the grass next to Kanda. A few yards away, two bicycles were left off to the side, discarded, with one wheel slightly turning from the breeze. The two boys had ridden them out to a nearby park with a small hill. There wasn’t anything on it, but it felt far away from everything – safe, and untouchable from the rest of the world.   
  
It was probably one of the few places Kanda really liked. When he was there, he didn’t have to think about rules or temporary homes. He could think about nothing, and just stare up at the sky. Bright, and endless.  
  
Beside him, Kanda could see Alma lift his leg a little as he bent his knee. Kanda frowned. “Stop bending it – it’s just going to hurt more.”  
  
Alma scrunched up his nose, and relaxed his leg. “It hurts even _now_ …” He mumbled, referring to the scraped up part of his knee. His jeans had actually torn a little, and through the fabric there was a small amount of dried blood. It wasn’t a lot, but the area around the kneecap had already started to darken into the early formation of a bruise.  
  
Kanda scoffed. “You shouldn’t have tried to do a bike jump. I told you it was stupid.”  
  
Alma whipped his head in Kanda’s direction. “But _you_ did it-“  
  
“Yeah, because I’d done it before. And I practiced _a lot_.”  
  
The answer caused Alma to quiet, though he still was frowning a little. He turned so he was staring back up at the sky, which only had a few sparse clouds sprinkled throughout it.   
  
Another breeze brushed by, causing the grass to sway around them. Beneath him, Kanda could feel the earth, slightly soft, as the scent of it filled his nostrils. He didn’t really know how to describe the scent; there was something else mixed into, with the warmth of day and fresh air. The only thing that came to mind was that is just smelled liked _summer_. Clear, fresh, and memorable.  
  
“Why do you go by Kanda?”  
  
Kanda blinked, and shifted his gaze over to Alma. He was immediately met by Alma’s large, bright blue eyes.  
  
When Kanda didn’t answer, Alma elaborated. “It’s your last name. I heard that man call you Yuu, and that’s what Mother Superior said your name was before you came here.”  
  
Kanda stiffened a little, then looked away. There was a bitter look in his eyes, and his mouth pressed into a thin line. “I don’t like talking about it.”  
  
Alma didn’t speak at first, but gazed over at Kanda. There was a somewhat contemplative look in the boy’s eyes, but then he turned to look back up at the sky. As he did this, the breeze caused Alma’s bangs to sway a little.   
  
“Yuu is a nice name. I like it,” Alma commented innocently.  
  
Kanda didn’t say anything, but was still looking away. His expression had softened a little though, and his eyes were less bitter as he took in Alma’s earnest words.   
  
Still looking away, Kanda took a small, silent breath. He then spoke. “You can call me Yuu…if you want…”  
  
Alma looked over at Kanda, face brightening. “Really!?” He asked, as he sat up in the grass excitedly. “That’s good, because I felt weird using your last name.”  
  
“Tch. It wasn’t that weird,” Kanda muttered, though his tone held no hostility or irritation in it.   
  
Alma glanced at Kanda, then fell back into the grass. “No, but you’re like my best friend now, so it’s nice I can use your first name now.”  
  
Hearing this, Kanda appeared surprised.   
  
Alma saw this, and for a moment appeared worried. “We….are best friends, right?” He asked, tone suddenly a bit uncertain as he averted his gaze.  
  
Kanda hesitated. He had never really had anyone he considered a best friend before, and he wasn’t sure what a best friend even would be like. Even the idea of a plain friend was a foreign concept to him.  
  
But, if Kanda had to think of what a best friend would be like…he guess Alma would count. They did things together, and Kanda didn’t exactly _hate_ him like when he had first moved into the group home.  
  
Alma wasn’t bad. Kanda had gotten used to him.  
  
“Yeah,” Kanda finally said.   
  
Alma smiled at him, the reached into his pocket to grab something. He pulled out a red-beaded bracelet, and tossed it over to Kanda.  
  
Since Kanda hadn’t been paying attention, the bracelet landed right next to him. Reaching it over, he picked it up before frowning a little in confusion. He looked at Alma. “What’s this?”  
  
Alma beamed, sitting up. “It’s a bracelet I made!” He chimed enthusiastically, before he held up his own wrist, showing an identical bracelet. “I have a matching one.”  
  
Kanda sat up as well, and looked at the bracelet. He didn’t know how he felt about having a _matching_ bracelet with Alma – he had always thought those types of things were a bit silly, and for _little_ kids.   
  
Questioningly, Kanda stared at Alma. His expression was still something of a half-frown. “Why?” He asked.   
  
Not minding Kanda’s reservation, Alma still smiled. “Because it’s made with a red string! And I read in a book that there’s this thing called a red string of fate, and when you share one with someone it means you’re always connected!”  
  
Kanda blinked, and stared at the bracelet. During the time he had been with Alma, he’d seen how Alma was the type to always be dragging out some random book or doing some kind of crafty activity. Kanda actually recalled having seen Alma work on something the other night involving some red string, and wondered if it had been the bracelets.  
  
Alma noticed the way Kanda was looking at the bracelet, and his excitement appeared to fracture a little. He shifted, looking away. “Um, you don’t...have to wear it if you don’t want to….”  
  
When Kanda didn’t reply, Alma turned, and was surprised to see the bracelet was already on Kanda’s wrist.  
  
Kanda leaned back on the palms of his hands, and glanced at Alma before looking up at the sky. “I like it.”  
  
Alma smiled, eyes bright. He then turned to look up at the sky as well.  
  
They stayed like that a while longer – just the two of them, together.  


* * *

  
__**Present Day**   
  


* * *

  
  
Work was going by steadily for Kanda. Adoption days were usually when the shelter seemed to have a constant flow of people coming in and out, usually to see what animals were in need of a home. Obviously, not everyone who came in adopted; the majority of people just looked, and many seemed to want to play with the animals at best.   
  
It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing; the dogs liked the interaction, and it was good for them to at least have some kind of social stimulation. But, there was something depressing about the way some people might linger near one of the animals – almost teasingly so – only to suddenly change their mind and walk off.  
  
A lot of the time, this aggravated Kanda. But it couldn’t always be helped.  
  
Eventually, things started to slow a bit. One young couple was currently eying two puppies – one brown, and one black – that were playing together.  
  
Kanda noticed this, and without thinking much spoke up. “Those two are pretty close. It’d be better not to separate them.”  
  
The man in the couple nodded, though he only seemed to be half-paying attention while the woman was cooing over one of the puppies.   
  
The absent-mindedness of their reaction was a bit irritating, but Kanda was forced to move one when someone came to him with a question about one of the other animals. Dealing with constant inquiries wasn’t exactly a strong point for Kanda, but since the shelter was short on volunteers that day it wasn’t as though he had any other choice. Typically, he just focused on working with the dogs, and let others like his manager and the rest of the staff and volunteers talk to any potential adopters.   
  
Fortunately, Kanda wasn’t tied up with the person for long. However, when he came back he saw his manager with the young couple from early filling out some paperwork. Kanda then saw that they had taken the one brown puppy with them.  
  
A bitter taste immediately rose up into Kanda’s mouth, and he quickly repressed it. The shelter would be closing soon, so he would need to focus on helping wrap things up for the evening.  
  
Since it didn’t seem like anymore people were coming in, Kanda went back to where the dogs were to start checking on them. Since a few had been adopted that day, it was a bit strange to see the spaces less crowded. Kanda knew it was a good thing, but sometimes it just caused a feeling to stir within him that he couldn’t describe.  
  
The sound of whining caused Kanda to stop. He turned, and saw in one of the crated areas the black puppy from earlier.  
  
Kanda exhaled, and unlocked the crate door. “Okay, stop whining,” He grumbled, though his words were soft – gentle, even. He picked up the puppy. “I know, it sucks…”  
  
The puppy quickly latched onto Kanda, needily attempting to nuzzle him.   
  
Kanda sighed. He could tell the dog was probably having some separation anxiety – it was one of the drawbacks that could come when a dog got adopted, and it was separated from another animal it may have bonded with.   Kanda knew it was something that couldn’t be avoided, but he was still irritated at the couple for having taken the other puppy. _‘Fucking people…’_  
  
After spending a little time comforting the puppy, Kanda eventually put him back, trying _not_ to feel guilty as the puppy whined a little more. It was oddly difficult for Kanda to leave the puppy alone, too.  
  
In the back of his mind, Kanda wondered about how okay Tiedoll would be if he adopted the puppy.   
  
Kanda pushed the thought aside. It would have to wait, and realistically he didn’t know if he’d be able to be home enough to help acclimate the puppy.   The last thing Kanda wanted to do was to take in an animal and give it some crap life – enough people did that already.  
  
No one else came in after the last couple, which Kanda was fine with. Closing down ended up taking less time than anticipated too, so he was able to leave a few minutes earlier than expected.  
  
As he left, Kanda’s manager waved to him. “Thanks again for coming in. I’ll see you tomorrow.”  
  
Kanda just nodded. “Yeah – I’ll see ya.”  
  
As Kanda left the shelter, he could see that the sky was beginning to turn into an array of colors. Orange, pink, and even indigo in the distance – the shelter had stayed open later than normal, and Kanda was definitely ready to call it a day. He didn’t know why, but something about something about work had caused him to feel more drained than normal.  
  
He was about to continue walking, when Kanda noticed something out of the corner of his eye. When he turned, he then saw that there was a person standing a short distance away.   But, they didn’t appear to be paying Kanda any attention; instead, they were looking at the adoption day sign that had been placed out earlier.  
  
A wave of mild irritation flared through Kanda. He hoped this wasn’t one of those last-minute stragglers – especially since everything had already been closed.  
  
“Next adoption day will be in a few weeks – we’ve already closed for the evening,” Kanda said, words coming out a bit harsher than what was warranted.  
  
The person turned. He was a guy that looked to be about Kanda’s age, with short, messy hair and large blue eyes. A noticeable scar stretched across the bridge of his nose, and he was carrying a messenger bag with him.  
  
Kanda stiffened. For a second, he thought the person resembled...  
  
“…Yuu?”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going off of the headcanon that Alma is just always reading up on anything, and has an array of interests, it didn’t seem unlikely that he’d hear about the red string of fate sooner or later (and Alma values Kanda as a friend so much – why wouldn’t he give him a bracelet made from red?).
> 
> As for Kanda, I wasn’t sure what I was going to have him do as a young adult in this AU at first. I liked the idea of Kanda working at an animal shelter (running with the concept that Kanda is a dog person), but I didn’t know how well it would fit into this AU. However, as I started to work more on this fic I found it fit really well. (I mean, Kanda was in a group home, and he works at a shelter for animals who need homes, and…feelings. Feelings everywhere.)
> 
> Not sure how much that read across to people, but ah. I guess that’s where my mindset was. <3


	4. Comfort

* * *

__**Nine Years Ago**   
  


* * *

  
  
It was just getting close to sundown when Kanda and Alma returned to the group home, riding their bikes quickly as to avoid being out past curfew. Technically, they should have returned sooner; the bikes were shared among the other children, and were only supposed to be used for certain time frames.   
  
Both boys skidded to a stop, braking when they finally reached they destination. Hopping off, Alma looked at Kanda, slightly worried. “Do you think we’ll get in trouble for being gone so long?”  
  
Kanda blinked, then shrugged nonchalantly. “I don’t know. It’s not that big a deal,” He mumbled, not sure why Alma always seemed so nervous about making someone mad or getting in trouble. “No one else really uses the bikes anyways.”  
  
Alma nodded, but still looked a bit anxious.  
  
They quickly put the bikes away before heading inside, not seeing anyone around at first. Kanda turned to Alma. “See? No one probably even noticed we were gone.”  
  
Alma seemed to relax, and smiled at Kanda, eyes bright.   
  
The sound of footsteps caught their attention, and they turned. Mother Superior had appeared and looked between them both, but her attention seemed to focus more on Alma. “Alma, I’d like to speak with you in my office.”  
  
Kanda was slightly surprised, and glanced over at Alma. He noticed that Alma looked a bit tense, and worried.  
  
Mother Superior took notice as well. “Oh, you’re not in trouble, dear – I just need to talk to you for a bit, alright?”  
  
Alma didn’t seem to be that eased by her reassurance, but nodded mutely. He then glanced over at Kanda very briefly before finally going to follow Mother Superior.  
  
Kanda watched the two as the disappeared, expression a little pensive. He honestly had no idea what _that_ was about; Kanda spent enough time with Alma to know that Alma was pretty good about following the rules, and when Kanda thought about it he realized that the only time he’d ever seen Alma get in trouble was when they’d gotten into a fight his first day at the group home.  
  
Still – even with this in mind, Kanda found himself feeling wary. He never trusted adults to begin with, and even if Mother Superior had been nice…he could never be sure.   
  
Releasing a breath, Kanda left the hall, and headed back up to the room he and Alma shared. Well, there was nothing he could do at the moment. He would just have to wait until Alma came back to see what Mother Superior had wanted to talk to Alma about.  
  
Kanda passed a few other kids in the hallway. No one really said anything to him, but a few stared as always. Aside from Alma, Kanda never bothered to talk to anyone else, and didn’t really have a desire to.   
  
But, two kids in particular were exchanging glances, and one whispered something to the other. Kanda couldn’t hear it, but an itch at the back of his neck caused him to turn, scowling at the other kids. “What?” He asked.  
  
The two kids – a boy and a girl – jumped a little upon hearing the sharpness in Kanda’s words. They exchanged glances, and the girl spoke. “We were just wondering where Alma was….he’s always with you and today he isn’t…”  
  
Kanda rolled his eyes, not understanding what the big deal was. So what if he and Alma didn’t spend _all_ of their time together? Kanda didn’t find that was too unusual. “He’s just in Mother Superior’s office. I don’t know why.”  
  
A strange look appeared on the other children’s faces that Kanda couldn’t quite describe. “Oh,” The boy said. “Maybe he’s leaving soon. He’s been here a while-“  
  
Kanda’s attention whipped over in the boy’s direction. “What do you mean?” He asked, words sounding more rushed than he would have liked for them too. There was an uncomfortable knot beginning to form in his stomach as well.  
  
The boy blinked, then shrugged. “Alma’s been here longer than a lot of us have. I bet they finally found a family for him to go to is what it is.”  
  
The response caused Kanda to stiffen. Then, before any of the other kids could say anything else, Kanda left and went back to his room, slamming the door shut after him.  
  
Once inside, Kanda went to his bed, and flopped down on his back. He had to take a few breaths, as he tried to push out the words of the other kids from his mind.  
  
_“I bet they finally found a family for him to go to is what it is.”_  
  
No. Alma wasn’t _leaving_. Those kids had said that, but they didn’t know.   
  
Turning over, Kanda glanced over at Alma’s side of the room. Like always, there were half-finished clumps of would-be origami on the bed, and a few books thrown about. Off to the side was the floppy-eared, stuffed rabbit that Alma seemed to like as well.  
  
Kanda felt himself calm a little. _‘This is stupid. It’s not like Alma is just getting moved for no reason…’_  
  
It wasn’t unusual for kids to be moved around in the foster system. It happened a lot; it had happened to _Kanda_ a lot. But, Kanda had often gotten moved because he would easily wear out any foster parents he was placed with. He would frequently mouth back, or disregard any rules – not an easy child to manage by any means. Alma didn’t seem to be that way though; Kanda didn’t really ever ask why Alma had ended up in the group home to begin with, but he didn’t see why Alma would need to be moved if ever.  
  
So…there was no reason to worry. It was probably something minor Mother Superior was talking to Alma about. That was all.  
  
After an indistinguishable amount of time had passed, the door opened. Kanda, still lying on his back, glanced over to see Alma coming in, shutting the door behind him as well. Alma didn’t speak as he did this, and had a somewhat distant look on his face – a complete change from the usually bright smile he sported.  
  
Silently, Alma walked over to his bed, and sat on the side. He remained on the edge, legs hanging off, but still appeared to be in some far off place.  
  
Kanda frowned a little, but turned so he was looking up at the ceiling. “What was that about?” He asked.  
  
Alma blinked, and glanced at Kanda. He then looked away quickly, and didn’t say anything.  
  
When Alma didn’t respond, Kanda looked over once again. His brow furrowed when he saw that Alma looked oddly downtrodden. Usually, if Alma were upset he would be rather vocal about it too – so why was Alma acting so withdrawn?  
  
Kanda sighed, feeling a bit exasperated. “Whatever. I’m not asking again, but you don’t have to sulk that much…” He muttered, not sure why Alma was acting so _sullen_ -  
  
“I’m getting moved…”  
  
The words were so soft that Kanda had almost missed them – and he truly hoped he had at the very least misunderstood, because they caused an icy wave to wash over him.   
  
Kanda sat up, looking at Alma. His throat felt strangely dry, but Kanda forced a single question out regardless. “What?”   
  
Alma’s gaze was still averted, and Kanda suddenly seemed to realize that Alma’s eyes were _glassy_. “Mother Superior said they found a family I could go with. So…I’m going to have to go with them…”  
  
Alma’s answer rang in Kanda’s ears dully, and the words seemed delayed in sinking in. But the phrase _“I’m going to have to go with them”_ seemed to ring louder than anything, and it caused a sinking feeling to occur in the pit of Kanda’s stomach.  
  
Taking a breath, Kanda tried to get a hold of himself, swallowing. “Well…that’s good, isn’t it?” He asked, though it felt as though Kanda were telling himself this more so than Alma. “You can be with a family, and not have to be stuck here anymore.”  
  
Alma’s eyes flickered over to Kanda, and a notably hurt look flashed through them. “No, it’s _not_ ,” Alma argued, his tone catching Kanda off guard. “I don’t want to go with them – I want to stay here!”  
  
Kanda faltered, somewhat stunned by the sudden outburst. Alma also seemed to realize that he had somewhat exploded onto Kanda, and his face was flushed, as he looked away again.   
  
“I don’t want to leave here…” Alma repeated, voice quieter and sounding as though it could break any moment. “People here are actually nice, and…”  
  
Alma trailed off, and Kanda remained quiet. He honestly wasn’t sure how to react in this situation; he wasn’t good at being comforting, and wasn’t sure what he could even _do_. It wasn’t as though they got a choice in where they ended u, either. So, if Alma had to go somewhere, then he had to go somewhere. That was just how it was.  
  
Yet, that realization crashed over Kanda, weighing him down like shackles that he had not even known he had been locked into.  
  
Silence lingered in the room, and neither of the two boys said anything. Finally, Kanda tried to speak. “Do you…know anything about them?” He asked, referring to the family Alma would have to go with.  
  
Alma bit the inside of his cheek and shrugged. “No…Mother Superior just said they were nice, and that she made sure they’d be a good family. They have a son already, though, and he’s older,” Alma said, sounding more uncertain with each passing second.   
  
Alma looked at Kanda, eyes large and filled with trepidation. “Yuu, what if they’re mean though?” Alma asked anxiously. “I don’t…want to end up with bad people again…”  
  
Surprise flickered in Kanda’s eyes, as he registered Alma’s words. It was probably the most insight he’d ever gotten into what Alma’s family may have been like before coming into the system, and the implication left an acidic taste in his mouth.  
  
“Was that what it was like before you came here…?” Kanda asked, not sure if he’d regret inquiring such or not.  
  
Alma didn’t say anything, but nodded. Even though he was avoiding eye contact, Kanda could see he looked like he wanted to cry.  
  
Kanda exhaled. “It’ll be fine,” He forced. “You said Mother Superior made sure they were okay, so they should be.”  
  
Again, Alma nodded without speaking. He didn’t appear convinced though, and meekly looked over at Kanda. “Can I come over to your bed?”  
  
Kanda paused, but nodded, moving over. Alma then came over, and crawled up onto Kanda’s bed with him, and lied down on one side. Without saying anything, Kanda then lied down next to Alma, both of their bodies facing each other.  
  
Alma remained quiet for a few moments, then spoke. “What was your family like..? Before…you know...”  
  
Kanda tensed a bit at the question. Alma had never asked before, and Kanda had never brought up the subject. It wasn’t something he enjoyed talking about, and he was tempted to just not answer. But something about the way Alma asked, quiet and curious, made it difficult for Kanda to ignore him.  
  
Kanda shrugged. “I don’t know. No one was ever around,” He answered. No mother present. A father that was usually gone – Kanda had rarely seen him, and the only way Kanda knew the man even still came home was because there would occasionally be some food left. But, that was minimal and there had definitely been days where food wasn’t much of an option.  
  
The few times Kanda had interacted with his father…hadn’t gone well. Kanda had never been hit or anything, but his father was never really sober.   Anything that ever came out of the man’s mouth was degrading at best, and that was only _if_ it was coherent.  
  
“One day, some social service worker just came by and got me. Didn’t even tell me where I was going…” Kanda muttered softly.   
  
Alma stared over at Kanda. “I’m sorry…”  
  
Kanda scoffed quietly. “What are you apologizing for? You’re not the jerk who was probably out drinking all the time…”  
  
Alma shifted a little. “No, but…that still sounds like it was lonely.”  
  
There was a small frown on Kanda’s face, but he didn’t comment on the topic further. Instead, he shifted it a little.   
  
“You…said you were with bad people,” Kanda started, not sure how Alma would react to it being brought up. “Did you mean your actual family?”  
  
Alma moved around, part of his face pressing into the pillow. He nodded, but didn’t vocalize any details, and Kanda could see part of the pillow’s fabric was damp and Alma’s eyes were watery.  
  
Something clogged up in Kanda’s throat, and he found it difficult to ask anymore. As he looked at Alma, he noticed the scar across Alma’s nose. Somehow, Kanda had a feeling he knew where it might have come from.  
  
Somewhat hesitantly, Kanda pressed up closely to Alma. He didn’t usually seek physical contact; it often made Kanda uneasy. But in that moment, it just felt instinctual to do so.     
  
“Stop crying,” Kanda murmured, as he nudged Alma gently. “It’ll be okay, alright…”  
  
Alma sniffed a little, and nodded. “Alright…”  
  
Kanda relaxed a little, glad that at least Alma had responded.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a hard chapter to write, and for a lot of reasons. I really didn’t want the focus of this fic to be child neglect/abuse, but it’d definitely there in the backdrop. 
> 
> I do think it’s important it got indicated at some point, since the fact is this does happen, and I know for me it’s a /very/ personal topic. There’s a lot of anxiety that comes when children are in environments that aren’t the most stable – even if it is a seemingly safe place, like the group home Kanda and Alma are in (which, it’s definitely a good place they’ve been in, and why I wanted them with someone nice like Mother Superior).
> 
> I also think it was good to show how close Alma and Kanda had become by this point as children. Kids wills bond pretty tightly when in situations like this (at least, speaking from my own experience, that’s what happened).
> 
> Sort of angsty, but ah. Better things are coming with this fic. <3 (Present Day scenes will return next chapter as well)


	5. Separation

* * *

__**Present Day**   
  


* * *

  
  
_“…Yuu?”_  
  
Kanda had frozen up. He hadn’t heard anyone call him that name in so long – not even _Tiedoll_ used that name. Everyone knew Kanda only went by Kanda, and that Yuu was strictly off-limits. Lavi had made the mistake of calling Kanda by it once, and it had nearly resulted in the redhead getting a black eye. But this _stranger_ had just used it. As though he were not a stranger.  
  
_‘But he looks like…’_ Kanda started to think, though he could hardly wrap his mind around the thought as the name _Alma_ cut through his mind. Wide blue eyes stared back at him, and a familiar, prominent scar could be seen stretching across the other person’s nose. There was even the same, slightly messy hairstyle that Kanda remembered so _vividly-  
  
_ Unexpectedly, the person laughed sheepishly. “Ah, I’m sorry,” He apologized, as he rubbed the back of his head. On his wrist, Kanda could see a red-beaded bracelet. “You just really remind me of someone I knew once.”  
  
Kanda just stared. It was too strange and surreal to adequately comprehend, and the logical side of his brain was screaming at him that there was no way this could be Alma. There was just no way that this could be someone Kanda hadn’t even seen in _nine years_. But, he had called Kanda “Yuu”, and that _bracelet_ …  
  
No. What could the odds of that even _be?_  
  
If Kanda’s shock was apparent, the other person didn’t appear to notice. He looked at Kanda with a small smile on his face. “I know you guys were closing, but I just wanted to ask are you looking for volunteers?” He inquired amiably. “I’m on this scholarship for school, but I have to do some volunteer work for it-“  
  
“Alma?”  
  
The name spilled off of Kanda’s lips before even he realized what he was saying, and the air fell silent.   
  
The carefree expression on the other teenager fractured, shifting into one of confusion. For a moment, he looked as though he thought he had misheard Kanda and appeared uncertain. “Y…Yeah…?” He started, looking as though he wanted to say more but not certain as to what.  
  
_‘Alma,’_ Kanda realized, the revelation crashing into him like a wave of cement. Alma. Shit, this was _Alma-_  
  
Kanda shook his head, and took a breath. His mind felt as though it were spinning, and he even felt a little nauseous. Kanda desperately tried to keep it together though, remembering that they were outside and in public.   
  
Kanda looked at Alma, and inwardly fought the urge to wince as he saw those shockingly familiar eyes – still large and puppy-like. “It’s me,” He said, before adding with some hesitation, “Yuu.”  
  
Alma stared a few seconds longer, but quickly enough his face broke into a wide, bright smile. “Yuu!?” He exclaimed, his words overpowered with excitement. “No way! Really!? I mean, when I saw you, I thought it was you, but what are the _odds_ -“ He continued on, before changing the subject as his eyes widened. “Wait, do you live here? I mean, obviously not here at the shelter – actually, what were you doing here?”  
  
The questions came out like rapid fire, and if there had been any doubt about this being the same Alma that Kanda had known all those years ago, then it was gone now. Only _Alma_ could throw out so many questions in one breath.  
  
In exasperation, Kanda tried to formulate some kind of response. His thoughts were a jumbled mess though, which was causing him to feel rather overwhelmed. “I _work_ here – fuck, what are _you_ doing here?”  
  
“I got accepted into the university downtown here, so I just moved onto campus this week,” Alma explained.  
  
That was right – Kanda recalled while in shock Alma had mentioned something about having some scholarship.  
  
Alma looked at Kanda curiously. “Are you going there too?” He asked.  
  
Kanda shook his head. “No…I’m just going to community college.”  
  
“But you’re here, aren’t you?” Alma chirped eagerly. “Yuu, I can’t believe it! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”  
  
“Uh, yeah…” Kanda said, not sure what else he _could_ say. Everything was going in full speed, and it was as though Kanda’s brain was struggling to process that this was even really happening. He almost felt as though his head would explode if he didn’t get a chance to let this all sink in soon.  
  
Quickly, Kanda spoke. “I should get going,” He started, words stiff and awkward. As he said this, his own heart twisted, and he couldn’t think to explain why.  
  
Alma’s expression fractured a little, but he quickly rebounded. “Oh, I gotcha!” He said, tone still light. “But what are you doing tomorrow? Can you meet up at all?”  
  
Kanda hesitated, his insides locking up. It felt like there was a heavy weight on his chest, and he was struggling to speak.  
  
Alma took note of the hesitancy, and a pleading look appeared on his face. “Please, Yuu?” Alma pressed, voice hopeful. “I know it’s probably kind of weird, but I mean, we’re running into each other after all this time, aren’t we? That _has_ to mean something.”  
  
There was an almost playful edge to Alma’s voice, but it did little to ease Kanda.   
  
“You know I never believed in that crap…” Kanda murmured, before looking at Alma. It was a mistake, because as soon as Kanda did so he could already see the disappointment appearing in Alma’s eyes, and his will immediately crumbled.  
  
Kanda sighed. “I’m free tomorrow evening…”  
  
Alma looked up, disappointment evaporating. “Really?” He asked, smile returning as hopeful as ever. “That’s great! There’s a café a few blocks a way – do you want to meet there at seven?”  
  
Immediately, Kanda knew which café Alma was talking about. He sometimes went there on his break, and it was usually open later as well. Kanda nodded. “Sure.”  
  
Alma reached into the messenger bag he was carrying with him, and pulled out a notebook. He scribbled down something, then tore out the page, handing it to Kanda. “Here’s my number! My phone died while I was out today walking around, but just text me, okay?”  
  
Kanda glanced at the number. He couldn’t help but focus on the handwriting – Alma’s handwriting.   
  
When he looked up, Kanda saw that Alma was still smiling. It had softened, but his eyes were still harboring a hopeful look to them. “So…I’ll see you tomorrow?”  
  
Kanda nodded. “Yeah…I’ll see you tomorrow,” He reiterated, though the words echoed dully in his ears.  
  
Alma beamed. “Awesome!”   
  
Before leaving, Alma then hesitated. He looked at Kanda, eyes filled with earnestness. “I’m really happy we found each other again, Yuu.”  
  
Alma left after that, and Kanda watched wordlessly as Alma disappeared.  


* * *

  
__**Nine Years Ago**   
  


* * *

  
  
Kanda had been staring at the other side of the room for a while.  
  
It was stupid. Kanda didn’t know why he was doing it.   He didn’t know _why_ he was suddenly so insistent on dragging this out. The other side of the room had been cleared out, and the bed was now unoccupied. Anything that had been on the walls was now gone, and it looked as though no one had been in the bed for a while.  
  
It looked empty.  
  
Kanda rolled over on his side. His eyes moved over to the table beneath the window sill, and he could see the stuffed rabbit that had been left there, limp and lifeless.  
  
_“I want you to keep him,” Alma said, shoving the rabbit into Kanda’s arms.  
  
Yuu frowned. “Why? It’s yours.”  
  
“Yeah, but I want him to keep you company-“  
  
Kanda scoffed. “I’m not a baby-“  
  
“Yuu, _ please _keep him?”  
  
‘Stupid,’ _ Kanda thought, as he glared at the rabbit.   He still didn’t understand why Alma had been so determined to leave the old thing with Kanda – Kanda didn’t need it. He hadn’t even had _wanted_ it.   
  
But, Alma had wanted Kanda to have it. So Kanda kept it.  
  
_Alma_. The name now seemed to hold a sting whenever Kanda thought it, and it made his heart tighten uncomfortably.   
  
_“Do you think we’ll see each other again?” Alma asked. They were currently in their room, though most of Alma’s things had already been packed away. It was the day Alma was supposed to leave with his new foster family, and they would be arriving any minute.  
  
Kanda looked away, and shrugged. “I don’t know…”  
  
There was silence, and then Kanda heard sniffling.   
  
Turning, Kanda could see Alma, eyes starting to redden as he seemed to be holding back tears. “Gee, don’t start _ crying,” _Kanda started to say, though he wasn’t as harsh in his scolding as normal. “It’s going to be embarrassing if anyone sees you like that…”  
  
“I’m sorry,” Alma said, though there was a weak tremor in his voice. “I’m just…I’m going to miss you…”  
  
Kanda’s insides twisted up, and he averted his gaze. He noticed his eyes felt a little hot as well, but he tried to ignore the sensation.  
  
“You’ll keep the bracelet, right?”  
  
Kanda looked back at Alma. When he did, Alma clarified, “Maybe if you keep it then it means we’ll see each other again…”  
  
“That might not even be real,” Kanda mumbled, though it was a mistake he realized upon seeing Alma’s crestfallen expression. “But…I’ll keep it. So stop crying, okay? I hate seeing you cry…”  
  
Alma nodded. “Okay,” He said, before looking at Kanda. There was a weak smile on his face. “I’m glad we found each other here, Yuu.”  
  
There was a softness to the way Alma said those words, and it caused Kanda to pause. Finally, he nodded in agreement. “Me too.”  
  
_ Kanda gripped tightly at the sheets. It was all so stupid, and he should have known better. Why had he even thought that he and Alma would have stayed in the same place together? There was no way that would have happened, and looking back Kanda felt foolish for not having realized it sooner.  
  
_Kanda stayed upstairs, but peaked around the corne at the top of the staircase. Down below in the entry hall, he could see the people that had come to get Alma. One was a man with sandy colored hair; he had a warm smile, and looked young. The other person was a woman – probably the man’s spouse, with fair skin and dark hair. She was pretty, but had a sharper look to her.  
  
Kanda didn’t know how he felt about them – they were the ones taking Alma away, and that thought alone made him angry.  
  
Downstairs, Kanda noticed how quiet Alma was. He had closed up, and his usual, cheery self had been somewhat subdued – probably due to anxiousness. Alma always seemed to close up when he got nervous.  
  
The couple talked to Mother Superior for a few minutes, before finally leaving. Kanda felt his heart lurch when he saw Alma turn briefly, their eyes meeting one last time.  
  
But then the couple pulled Alma along, and he was gone.  
  
_ Kanda’s eyes were hot, and he quietly cursed under his breath. Stupid. Why did he have to be so _stupid_? Why did he have to actually end up liking Alma, and being friends with him? Why did he have to end up caring about one more person who _wasn’t even going to stay in his life_?  
  
Kanda hated it, and he hated himself for getting so angry about it. He hated the room he was in that now felt so empty, and he hated the tears that he could feel on his face. He hated being vulnerable, and he just hated _everything_.  
  
_‘Alma…’_ Kanda thought, though the name caused a sudden sob to force its way out of Kanda’s throat. Kanda quickly tried to force himself to keep quiet. He didn’t want anyone to hear him.  
  
He didn’t want to hear him, and he didn’t want anyone near him. Not again. Kanda didn’t want to make that mistake again.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was editing this, I forgot how emotional this AU makes me. ;__; (But Kanda and Alma have reunited in the present!)
> 
> For those who might be unclear as to who Alma ended up with, he was taken by Edgar and Twi. If anything, there’s the comfort of knowing he went with them. Edgar is someone who I like to imagine will be a good, sweet energy for Alma to be around, while Twi will help with that sense of security, routine, and stability.
> 
> It still broke my heart to think about how it impacted Kanda, but ah. Such is the way of this AU. >.< (Next chapter is a bit less painful flashback-wise!)


	6. Adoption

* * *

__**Nine Years Ago**   
  


* * *

  
  
“He’s a very nice man, Kanda. I’m sure you’ll enjoy living with him.”  
  
Kanda slouched in the chair in Mother Superior’s office. He wasn’t looking at her though, and kept his gaze off to the side; his attention currently resting on a fresh pot of flowers that had been placed in the window.   
  
Mother Superior sighed at Kanda’s lack of response. “Kanda, I know it’s been…a bit difficult for you here since Alma left. This change might be a good thing.”  
  
There it was – Alma’s name, and the familiar stab of pain that Kanda always felt when he heard it. A month after Alma had gone, and the wound still felt as fresh as when it had first developed.  
  
Kanda’s mouth formed a small frown, but still didn’t say anything. Why would he even bother? It didn’t matter what he thought or wanted; he would end up wherever he would end up, and until he was a legal adult he probably wouldn’t get a say in anything. And neither would Alma.  
  
_‘Wherever he is…’_ Kanda thought, his mind briefly wondering just what Alma was doing in that moment. He wondered if the family Alma had ended up with had been nice after all. If Alma was going to school somewhere. Riding a bike. Maybe making paper lotuses…  
  
Mother Superior didn’t say anything more for a moment, and only watched Kanda. There was a trace of concern in her eyes, though she was at a loss for what exactly to do. “Kanda,” She started, her tone rather delicate, “You do know you can talk to me – or someone else even – if you want to, right?”  
  
Kanda felt his jaw clench a little, and his blood grow hot. _‘No,’_ He wanted to argue. _‘No, I_ can’t _’-  
  
_ “Can I go already?” Kanda mumbled, his gaze still averted.  
  
Expression still a bit worried, Mother Superior nodded.   
  
Before she could change her mind, Kanda got up quickly and left her office, returning to his room immediately after.   
  
Kanda’s room had turned into something of a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing in that he could at least escape there for a bit, and hide away from everyone. He didn’t have to worry about anyone nagging him to talk, or having to follow too many rules. But at the same time, it was a sharp reminder that he was _alone_. No one else had moved into the group home since Alma left, and the other side of the room remained empty.  
  
Soon, the whole room would be empty, and Kanda would be gone too.  


* * *

  
__**Nine Years Ago**   
  


* * *

  
  
Kanda was sitting at the foot of the staircase when there was a knock at the door. He had his bag with him – just the same as when he had arrived to the group home, with nothing to add save for the stuffed rabbit squashed inside and the paper lotus from Alma (which would likely get crushed in the bag as well, but Kanda had been unable to toss it).  
  
Kanda watched as Mother Superior answered the door, and a man came inside. It was hard for Kanda to tell how old the man was; maybe he was somewhere in his 30’s, but the bushy mustache and wild, curly hair made him appear possibly a little older.   
  
The two adults spoke briefly, though Kanda didn’t really pay attention to what they were saying. It was only when Mother Superior motioned for him to come over that Kanda bothered to get up, walking to where the two were. He kept his expression blank as he did so.  
  
“Kanda, this is Froi Tiedoll,” Mother Superior said.  
  
Tiedoll looked at Kanda, and smiled warmly. “Hello, Kanda.”  
  
Kanda just stared for a moment, then looked away.   He already knew this routine, and he knew how it would go; trying to be “polite” only seemed like a waste.  
  
Mother Superior made sure Kanda had all of his things, and soon enough Kanda was leaving the building with Tiedoll. Kanda noticed that Tiedoll didn’t immediately try to speak to him, which he was fine with – Kanda _hated_ having to go through small talk.  
  
Before they got to the car, Tiedoll broke the silence. “I hope you don’t mind sitting shotgun,” He spoke. “The backseat is a bit of a mess since I cleared out the trunk – I wasn’t sure what all you were planning on bringing with you.”  
  
Kanda hesitated, but got in the front passenger seat without giving any verbal response. Sitting shotgun was fine, as long as he didn’t have to talk. Or listen to Tiedoll talking a lot.  
  
They started driving shortly after, mostly in silence. Kanda was relieved for this, and took to staring absently out the window. He wasn’t sure how long they would be in the car for; he hadn’t asked, though he knew from what Mother Superior had said earlier that Tiedoll lived farther away.  
  
It must have been a good hour and a half of driving they had done before Tiedoll took a turn, and drove off onto a side road. At first, Kanda thought that maybe this meant they were almost to wherever it was he would be living – but then he saw that they were stopping near a lake.  
  
Tiedoll parked the car, and turned to Kanda. “Why don’t we get out and take a little break here? We’re about half-way home, but it’ll probably be good to stretch our legs for a bit.”  
  
Kanda glanced at Tiedoll, then back out the window, shrugging.  
  
Tiedoll didn’t speak again right away, but Kanda couldn’t feel the man’s eyes on him.     
  
“Well, I’ll be by the lake for a bit – there’s some bottled water in the back if you’d like any.”  
  
Again, Kanda said nothing and kept his focus off to the side. He could hear Tiedoll get out of the car, shutting the door behind as he walked off toward the lake.  
  
Once alone, Kanda shifted. He looked around the car, and then in the backseat; he noticed what looked like some canvases and art supplies placed back there.  
  
Kanda turned forward, and looked outside. He could see the lake from where they had parked – vast and blue beneath the large stretch of sky. Kanda noticed where Tiedoll was a bit a ways ahead; the man had sat down in the grass, and it looked like he was drawing or something.  
  
Undoing his seatbelt, Kanda got out of the car. He was greeted by a soft breeze, which felt nice against his skin, and the scent of fresh grass lingered in the air.  
  
Kanda gave one last glance in Tiedoll’s direction, then walked toward the lake. He headed to a different area though, where he would be more secluded.  
  
Soon, Kanda came to an area where the ground declined toward the lake. It allowed him a clear view of the water, and felt somewhat hidden; Kanda could still see Tiedoll down a bit farther away, but he had no idea if Tiedoll would notice him. Maybe not.  
  
Kanda returned his attention to the water. He could see it rippling gently and glistening as it reflected sunlight off of the surface, slightly hypnotic and even lulling.  
  
Something washed over Kanda. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was as though something cold had fallen over him. His insides felt empty, and his chest seemed hollow. Not numb, though – he felt something else, and it was unpleasant. It was a vacant, quiet sensation that was so subtle yet so apparent…  
  
It wouldn’t go away. And it hurt.  
  
On his wrist, Kanda felt the bracelet that Alma had given him. It felt heavy for some reason, and impulsively Kanda removed it.  
  
Kanda gripped the bracelet, but didn’t look at it. He only continued to stare at the water before finally raising his hand, preparing to throw it-  
  
“It’s not good to litter, you know.”  
  
The voice startled Kanda, causing him to jump a little. He turned, glaring when he saw it was Tiedoll who had spoken; he hadn’t heard the man approach, but was angry that Tiedoll had somehow managed to sneak up on him.  
  
Tiedoll’s expression was neutral, and he glanced at the lake. “The fish might choke if you throw things out there – it wouldn’t be very pleasant for them.”  
  
Kanda continued to glare, then turned away sharply.  
  
The soft sound of the breeze brushing past them filled the air, which was otherwise silent. After a moment, Tiedoll spoke up again. “It’s a nice bracelet. You should keep it,” He suggested. “If someone gave it to you, they might be sad to know you threw it away.”  
  
Kanda stiffened a little, but still kept quiet. He turned, but saw that Tiedoll was already heading back to the car.  
  
Kanda gave one last look at the lake, the bracelet in his hand. Then, before he could cave to any other impulse, he turned, and went back to the car – the bracelet still with him.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone can managed a kid like Kanda, it’s Tiedoll. He really has a patient energy to him, doesn’t he?
> 
> This whole chapter was just past tense, which I felt made sense, since the next (and last chapter) will be strictly present day events. 
> 
> Considering Tiedoll is mentioned early on in this fic as the person who eventually adopts Kanda after fostering him, I wanted to focus more on the aftermath of Alma leaving here, and when Kanda eventually was taken in by Tiedoll. It felt like an appropriate way to wrap up the past events, while also just leaving a sense of peace in that Kanda eventually finds a place with someone more stable and nurturing (also, I’m just weak for family dynamics – especially between Kanda and Tiedoll).
> 
> Last chapter next!


	7. Reunion

* * *

__**Present Day**   
  


* * *

  
Kanda never texted Alma.   
  
He had no excuse for this. Kanda hadn’t lost the number or anything; he had it, and it was currently on his nightstand. The note had been there all night, and it had stayed there all day while Kanda went into work. Then, when he came home, it had been there to greet him.  
  
But, every time Kanda looked at it the note sent his stomach twisting into knots, and the idea of reaching out to Alma seemed too overwhelming. Impossible, even.  
  
Kanda realized that he was being cowardly about this. He should have been able to at least put the stupid number into his contact list, but even _that_ seemed like a struggle.  
  
At the moment, Kanda was lying on his bed. He wasn’t tired at all, but his head was clouded with too many thoughts. Through them all was a sharp _pounding_ – heavy, and suffocating – and in his chest there was a painful pull that seemed to occasionally dull, only to flare up every time Kanda thought of Alma.  
  
Kanda turned, and glanced at the time on his phone. It was already seven – the time when he and Alma had been supposed to meet.   
  
Kanda placed the phone face down beside him, and stared up at the ceiling. Would Alma still show up at the café, even if he didn’t hear from Kanda? Or would Alma already have assumed it just wasn’t going to happen, and not even bother to show up?  
  
_‘Stupid,’_ Kanda thought. Alma would have been stupid to still go – they had been friends _nine years ago_. They probably weren’t even the same two people anymore, and some freaky coincidence couldn’t have meant _that_ much.  
  
Damn it, then why did Kanda feel so conflicted over this whole situation? What was he even conflicted _about_? It should have been cut and dry: he could reach out to Alma, or not. If he didn’t, that was that. They would move on.  
  
_“I’m really happy we found each other again, Yuu.”_  
  
Kanda sat up, and turned so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. On his wrist, he had still been wearing the bracelet; he hadn’t taken it off since the day before, but fingered it as though he were tempted to take it off.  
  
There was a knock on the bedroom door, and Kanda turned, spotting Tiedoll.  
  
“I just got back from the store – they had soba, so I made sure to pick up some for you,” Tiedoll spoke as he smiled amiably.  
  
Kanda shifted his gaze over to the window. “Thanks,” He murmured, tone distant.   
  
Tiedoll paused, noticing the distracted way Kanda seemed to be focusing on outside. “It’s nice out. Were you going to do anything this evening with your friends?” Tiedoll asked. “Classes start soon – you should be enjoying summer break.”  
  
Kanda shrugged. “I don’t know,” He responded, without any further elaboration.  
  
A contemplative look passed over Tiedoll’s face. His warm, brown eyes didn’t leave Kanda, and he seemed hesitant to move on just yet.  
  
As he looked, Tiedoll then took note of the bracelet. “I haven’t seen you wear that since you first came to live here,” Tiedoll commented. “I was worried something had happened to it.”  
  
Under his breath, Kanda scoffed. “It’s just some beads on a string. It’s replaceable…”  
  
“Perhaps,” Tiedoll agreed. “But I’m sure whoever gave it to you would be happy to know you still have it.”  
  
Kanda turned, just to see Tiedoll leaving. He then picked up his phone to glance at the time. It was ten after seven.  
  
Quickly, Kanda grabbed his wallet and left.  


* * *

  
__**Present Day**   
  


* * *

  
Alma glanced at the time. It was half after seven, and he still hadn’t heard from Kanda.   
  
He sighed, and rested his chin in his arms. The tea he had gone ahead and ordered had already grown cold, and he could see outside that the sun was setting. The café wasn’t closing anytime soon, but it seemed to have grown quiet. Most people were out getting dinner somewhere or enjoying the last stretches of daylight – they weren’t sitting in a coffee shop, waiting for someone who might never come.  
  
Inwardly, Alma flinched at the thought. He had hoped that Kanda would come.   
  
Alma gingerly played with the red-beaded bracelet on his wrist. It was childish to still have it; he knew this, yet Alma had never been able to get rid of the silly thing.   
  
He glanced outside the window. Maybe holding onto a relationship that had been nine years ago was childish too.  


* * *

  
__**Present Day**   
  


* * *

  
  
If there was ever a moment where Kanda felt like the worst person in the world, it was now.  
  
He checked the time on his phone, and saw it was fifteen till eight. Kanda cursed under his breath. He wasn’t even sure why he was rushing – there was just no _way_ that Alma would still be at the café. He had probably not even bothered to show, and if he did he surely would have left already.  
  
Of course, the sensible thing would have been to contact Alma and ask – but Kanda had left the damn number on his nightstand. He had been in such a hurry to leave that he had completely blanked on grabbing it.  
  
_‘Damn it,’_ Kanda thought, as he finally made it to where the café was. He could see there were people inside, but didn’t immediately see Alma. Inside, his heart jumped anxiously. Kanda repressed the feeling, and went inside.  
  
When he entered the café, Kanda looked around. Among the people there, he didn’t see Alma.  
  
One of the baristas, who had come to take away a semi-full cup of tea someone had left at one of the nearby tables, noticed Kanda. “You looking for someone?” She asked, when she saw how Kanda seemed to be skimming the area.  
  
Kanda hesitated, then responded. “Was someone here earlier? A guy around my age. He has a scar on his nose.”  
  
The barista blinked then glanced at the table she’d just taken the cup from. “Yeah – actually he was just here, but he left about five minutes ago.”  
  
The sensation of something dropping filled Kanda. Alma had been there. Alma had _waited_. All of these years later, and the idiot was still so optimistic-  
  
_‘Stupid. You had to be stupid and just leave him waiting, didn’t you?_ ’ Some internal voice sneered, scathing and bitter.  
  
Kanda tried to ignore it, and nodded. “Thanks,” He said, before moving to leave. He didn’t want to be in that café anymore.  
  
“Wait,” The barista said, before handing something to Kanda. It was light, and Kanda realized it was paper.   When he looked at it, he saw it was a paper lotus, and Kanda looked at the barista in bewilderment.  
  
“He ended up making this while he was here, but left it,” The barista explained, “If you know him, you should give it back to him – it’s really cool looking, and it would suck for it to get tossed.”  
  
Kanda froze up a little, not sure how to respond. But the barista left him, and returned to work before he could force himself to say anything.  
  
Staring at the paper lotus, Kanda turned, leaving the café quickly.   
  
Outside, the air was clear. Since it was sundown, the air had begun to cool as well.   A few people were still walking outside, but for the most part the area had started to grow quiet. The café wasn’t in a busy area, and most people would have probably gone elsewhere for the evening if they hadn’t returned home.  
  
Kanda looked around. A part of him hoped to see that familiar messy head of hair, or wide blue eyes. But he didn’t see anything. He didn’t see Alma.  
  
Kanda sighed, jaw clenching a little. He’d messed up. He’d _really_ messed up.  
  
In his hand, Kanda felt the paper lotus. He could have tried to put it in his pocket, but he was too afraid it might have gotten damaged – he would just have to carry it home.   
  
The chances of him seeing Alma after this were nonexistent anyways.  
  
Kanda started walking after that. He wasn’t sure if he would return home right away, but he had to walk – he couldn’t just stand there, and needed to move to distract himself. Everywhere inside his body ached, and his heart felt as though it had been twisted and pulled into some horrible contortion.   
  
The feeling only worsened when he thought about Alma.  
  
Kanda bit the inside of his cheek, and the image of Alma waiting in that café flooded his mind. _‘Such an idiot…’_  
  
Why? Why had it been so hard to just _show up?_ What had Kanda been so _afraid_ of?  
  
He took a small, slightly shaky breath, and looked up.  
  
Kanda stopped walking.  
  
Just a little ways down, there was a bench. Sitting down on it was Alma, alone and staring off into nothing with his chin resting in the palm of his hand.   
  
Kanda froze up at first, body tensing. He was instantly slammed with conflicting instincts – one that told him to leave, and one that told him to stay. It was incredibly difficult to know which to listen to, and Kanda felt stuck for that reason.  
  
But, when he saw Alma, alone and looking _disappointed…_  
  
In that moment, there were no more questions. Wordlessly, Kanda walked over to where Alma was, who was so far off in his own world that he didn’t even seem to hear Kanda approaching.   
  
Kanda swallowed. “Hey…” He started.  
  
Alma blinked, and turned. His eyes filled with surprise upon seeing Kanda, and then they were overcome with confusion.   
  
A pang of guilt pierced Kanda, but he tried not to let it overpower him. Quietly, he sat down next to Alma.  
  
Eyes somewhat downcast, Kanda held out the paper lotus. “You…left this. Back at the café,” Kanda explained somewhat lamely. “The barista saved it for you.”  
  
Alma stared at the paper lotus, then his eyes flickered up to Kanda’s briefly as he took it. “I…didn’t think you were coming,” Alma finally said, as he averted his gaze.  
  
Kanda looked away guiltily. “I…” He started to say, but found himself unable to say anything. Kanda didn’t have an excuse for standing Alma up. It had been a terrible thing to do, and there wasn’t any justifying it.  
  
“I’m glad you did though.”  
  
Kanda shifted his gaze, his eyes meeting Alma’s. To his surprise, there was a small smile on Alma’s face.   
  
“Even if you took a while…I’m glad you came,” Alma spoke softly. He then looked away, in an almost shy manner. “I really missed you…”  
  
Kanda was quiet, but stared at Alma. His skin looked warm in the dim glow of sundown, and his eyes somehow seemed as bright as Kanda remembered. Actually, Alma looked _exactly_ as Kanda remembered – older, but the same regardless.   
  
Suddenly, all of the pain and yearning that Kanda had felt – all of the loneliness and emptiness – all of these sensations crashed over him one final time before fading away. They faded away, and for a moment they were gone; they were gone, because Kanda wasn’t alone in that instant. He was with Alma.  
  
Kanda had missed Alma so much, he realized. He had missed him so much that he had done everything he could to close himself off – because Kanda hadn’t wanted to go through the pain of losing someone like he had lost Alma all those years ago. And he had been afraid to go through that again.  
  
But, Alma was here. Alma was here again, and he was with Kanda. Somehow, they _had_ crossed paths again.   
  
Reaching over, Kanda gingerly took Alma’s hand. He ran his thumb over Alma’s skin, which felt oddly soft, and familiar. The red of Kanda’s bracelet seemed to glow faintly under the streetlight above them.   
  
“I missed you too…” Kanda murmured.  
  
Alma looked down, noticing the matching bracelet Kanda was wearing. He then moved his gaze up, so his eyes met Kanda’s. Alma smiled gently.   
  
Without speaking, Alma leaned over, and rested his head on Kanda’s shoulder. It was a soft, small movement, but one that filled Kanda with a warmth he couldn’t remember ever feeling – not in a long time, if ever.  
  
Kanda pulled Alma close, wrapping his arm around him.   Kanda then allowed his face to rest against the side of Alma’s hair, which smelled faintly of some kind of flower Kanda couldn’t recall. It made him feel relaxed though.  
  
They stayed like that in silence for a while longer, but there was no need for words.   
  
They had found their way to each other again. A string of fate. Maybe coincidence. But somehow, they had found each other.  
  
And that was all that mattered.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT’S IT.
> 
> God, this fic gave me so many feels. So many feels dear stars. But these two finally found each other again, and ah, I’m really a mess over it.
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! <3


End file.
